After 30 years, I still don't fully "get it" and admit I don't think I ever will. My husband is Persian and our son is half-Persian. I never really thought I got it, but did think I had a handle on it – until our son was born.

When I think of those two women, not as white as me, bemoaning that their white toddlers had to play with my "sand n-word" (they actually said it and made sure I heard it), it still sets me reeling. How could anyone look at my sweet, beautiful black-eyed boy and harbor such caustic hate toward him?

He's 18 now and I can't fathom the minds of parents of his classmates (and a couple of his former girlfriends) who take exception to him just because he's not white enough for them. I sometimes overhear what he says of his own feelings about it with his friends; but, he doesn't talk about it with his father and me much.

I don't know how to relate to such unfounded vituperative treatment of my husband and son. I don't know how to help in a way that seems meaningful to me. Sure… they'll say I help by hearing them and supporting them with my love. It just doesn't feel like enough.