Another man who needs to defend against something that isn't about him.

We most certainly do live in a rape culture. Rape culture is when sexual abuse is pervasive and endemic. When 97% of women and girls will face sexual abuse in some form over the course of their lives, what else do you call it? And, America just elected a rapist for president, for cripes sake. His cabinet is filled with sex pests. The public sphere is filled with sex pests.

"Ordinary men" can start by not dismissing the reality. You can hear the language and bragging of "locker room" and hear the abuse in those stories when so many of those men absolutely do "confide in [you] about their sexual assaults. Then, you call it out and shut it down. You can shutdown the victim blaming when you hear it instead of rationalizing it. As for how to assess claims, only around 1% to 2% of claims are false.

Even when men or boys are the victims, it's virtually always at the hands of a man. WE KNOW, it's not all men.

But!

But!

But!

It is always SOME man.