Don't be an enabler for bad behavior. My son is also neurodiverse. But, I wouldn't ever let him treat anyone so disrespectfully. First, it's unfair to others to have to take abuse like that. Second, and more importantly, it's ultimately detrimental to her interpersonal development.

That's her challenge. Think about it as if she was blind. Doing everything for her does nothing to help her learn to navigate the world. You won't always be there to do for her. And, the next person may not be compassionate -- they may even exploit her blindness.