Solar Eclipse 2024
Eclipse Day — the End Is Nigh
Ready for the Rapture?
Have y’all seen this? The Rapture is apparently tomorrow, during the eclipse. And, the earthquake in New Jersey is one of the signs, a harbinger of the Rapture. Why?
The path of the September 2017 eclipse intersects the path of the April 2024 eclipse in southern Illinois. It’s also something to do with the two events being seven years apart. And, we all know seven is a holy number symbolizing completeness.
Ssshhh… Don’t tell them the eclipses are only about six and half years apart.
“X” marks the spot. Some think when you plot the paths on a map, they resemble the all sacred cross. This has certain sectors who call themselves “Christian” seeing it as a crucial sign that the end is nigh.
I’m feeling eeeee-viiillll
Let’s fuck with their heads, eh? While they’re all out looking up at the eclipse, waiting to be raptured, we should all layout random clothes around outside. Then, we hide with lights out for the rest of the day. Don’t answer calls from anyone who isn’t in on the joke. Make ’em…
