For me, it was never easy to paddle my son. When I did, it was only with the flat of my hand and never more than three to five swats on the fleshy part of his buttocks. I also could never bring myself to swat with any vehemence. It's something I only used in cases where I'd exhausted every other means and he was still doing something risky. Simple disobedience was never serious enough to warrant paddling, IME. The the very few times I felt it was warranted, it broke my heart. He says it never heart him. But, I know it broke his heart in the moment – which made me feel like a monster.