I can identify with this so much. It's a deep and abiding pain. I wish I could promise it would get better. I think I just got used to it.

I lost my Gran to dementia, watching her lose herself piece by piece, memory by memory for a decade in a nursing home. The worst part was when random memories of herself and her life would surface for a few moments; then, flutter away as quickly as it surfaced. It seemed the Gran I'd always known… the strong, dominant, always-in-my-corner woman I wouldn't have survived my childhood without… it seemed she was trapped behind this deep well sucking her memories, her self away while she desperately fought for the surface

. For me – it was almost a relief to know she was released from suffering.