I think it's a difficult step to take… to expel that first whomever. In my case, it was difficult because they were kin and I'd been indoctrinated into the idea that blood loyalty was as sacred as butts in those fundamentalist evangelical pews. Still, once I finally took that step (far too late), it became easier and easier. I don't hesitate now. If you're not kind, if you're marginalizing, you're out.