I think there are instances in the lives of all elder siblings. We can't help but blame ourselves for starting our lives when our younger sibs still struggled, but now without our stand at their side. Ultimately though, we really could not do that. We can wonder what might have been, if it might have been better with us there. The only surety is that our lives would not have started, that we would have been trapped in that limbo, losing the momentum of a forward moving life with our peers. I can't help but think resentment would grow at feeling obligated to hold one's self back for the sake of others like that.