I used to feel similarly all the time. Now… I'm old and I don't have time in my life or space in my brain for any of it. These days, I get why my Gran still did stuff that embarrassed the daylights out of me. She went through it all, bore down the stares and judgement, and figured out most folks aren't even really paying attention to you. Most folks are only worried about their own crap and you just blipped by like static in their own constant undercurrent of what if and who's looking buzz.