It's beautiful that you're able and willing to give so much to your mother.

My Gran suffered dementia and had to be put in a facility where she spent the last decade of her life. We had no choice after the last time she wondered away. She got on a bus and ended up downtown, confused and couldn't remember where she was going.

Fortunately, she'd been well known for decades in the city. The bus driver recognized her. He brought her back to the bus stop at her street. Unfortunately, she fell getting off the bus and broke her hip. We had to put her in the nursing home because she needed 24-hour medical care.

We hoped it would be temporary. But, her dementia declined precipitously and she ended up never being able to go home again. It broke my grandfather's heart. He never forgave himself for not being able to keep up with her care at home.

My grandfather was at the nursing home visiting her every single day for at least one meal. And, Gran’s children and grandchildren all arranged that one or the other of them would be there for another meal. It hurt not to be able to take her home — especially when she pleaded with us not to leave her there every time we had to leave. But, she received the best care possible and we all made sure she was never just another old person dumped in the system.