It's not a kind of grief we have the cultural tools to reconcile with. And, even if we come to some kind of softening or reconciliation, having grieved their loss, it feels like we're haunted by all that baggage, like we're interacting with a ghost of the past.

When those individuals actually do pass, you feel disconnected. You already mourned them. You can't unmourn them. How are we supposed to process their literal loss when they die?