That is parenthood. I think the definition of love is not the problem. It's the definition of what constitutes abuse and/or obsession. As I see it, the problems in relationships stems from a basic misconception about what love really is. People think it's an emotion. Love evokes strong emotions. But, love itself is not an emotion. It's a promise.

In romantic love, too many mistake attraction and/or lust for love. Love isn't something that just happens. You don't just meet someone and love them instantly forever in a forever perfect fairytale ending. Love is something that grows between people. It must be cultivated. Romantic relationships are hard work. If you aren't willing to put in the work, it's probably not love.

I don't think the definition is the problem. I think identifying when it really is love is the problem. People think they're "in love" and that the next step HAS to be marriage. The truth is, the next step should be learning how to be in a relationship together.

For example, one of my sisters has been married several times and been in several live-in relationships. But, she completely committed to any of the men. She met them; the sex was great; they married or moved in together right away; they had fun together partying; they found they had few common interests; the passion cooled; their lack of common interests became points of contention; they "grew apart" and relationship broke down; they divorced. Neither she nor they were ever clear about what they wanted from each other or in a relationship. They never really developed that bond that led to unconditional love.