The family tree I can be assured of is on my mother's side. On her mother's side, from Gran's father, I'm descended from the Grahams of Montrose (as in, the Duke of Montrose from the history of Rob Roy). Unfortunately, that includes kinship to Franklin Graham – Billy Grahams grandfather (known in the family as an uprorious drunk called "Crook" Graham) and my great-great grandfather (Neil Cameron Graham) were first cousins.

From Gran's mother, we have the Davis family – yes, as in Jefferson Davis. He was a not distant enough cousin of my great-gramma's mother.

On my mother's father's side, we have the Paul and Sports families – real Deliverance kind of stuff. One of the Paul patriarchs crosses his own family line FOUR separate times six or seven generations back – faithfully recorded in the family Bible, no less.

I really couldn't say with any confidence who my kin are on the paternal side. Except, I have from mother, as a bombshell reveal when I was 17, that my dad is not my biological father – later, more compassionately confirmed by my dad.

So… if your up to claiming kinship to the Duke of Montrose's descendents or the Jeff Davis family, or to the NC Paul or Sports families, welcome to the family!