The problem is that "[your] measure" nor the measure of ALL listeners is not the same. Just because one demographic has no discernment what their use of these terms and phrases means does not mean other demographics are likewise ignorant.

Take the words "cunt" (an incredibly insulting word for a woman's vagina) and "cuck" (an abbreviation of "cuckold" or a man whose wife cheats on him). Both words are sexist pejoratives. People (i.e., men) who use words like "cunt" (as well as women who use terms like "dick") will tell you they don't mean it in the way of the literal senses. A dude calls another dude a "cunt" and he nor any peripheral women listeners cannot possibly have any right to offense of the core meaning and hugely sexist term because "that's not how it's meant." The MAGA crowd, for example, seems to level that insult to just about every non-MAGA person. And again, the person hearing it would have no right to feel insensed based on the core meaning of the word becaue, "that's not how it's meant."

We don't "water down our response" – You consider the matter settled because "that's not how it's meant."