Xanax doesn't make me feel depressed. It cuts me off from other people's emotions. While that's very unsettling, it is sometimes what I need not to be overwhelmed in emotionally-charged situations. Meditation could not help me in those situations.

I'm glad you found something so you're not perpetually on the meds, though. I only take Xanax as needed; for me, that translates to maybe a hundred pills a year. Otherwise, I'm fortunate to be able to choose to just not be around emotioinally harmful people nor regularly in emotionally charged situations.